gra-tu-i-tous |grəˈt(y)oōitəs|
{ORIGIN mid 17th cent.: from Latin gratuitus ‘given freely,spontaneous’}
adjective:
1. uncalled for; lacking good reason; unwarranted : gratuitous violence.2. given or done free of charge : gratuitous advice.
vi-o-let |ˈvī(ə)lət|{ORIGIN Middle English : from Old French violette} adjective:
1. a bluish-purple color seen at the end of the spectrum opposite red.
noun:
2. a herbaceous plant of temperate regions, typically having purple, blue,or white five-petaled flowers, one of which forms a landing pad for pollinating insects. Genus Viola, family Violaceae.
3. ME.

Thursday, June 30, 2011

cat power doesn't blame you

i have had quite a delightful day thus far. 

it's 11:41p.m.- at this exact moment. 

for the last 4 days, i can't stop listening to this song:


Peel sessions - Amazing Live Version
i heard this years ago, and although i love it,  and the album-  "you are free"- in general, the song i don't blame you has rung a personal chord [sorry for the pun] as of recent. 
regardless of speculated historical reasoning for the details of the lyrical story, it is a beautiful song, succulent with passion and compassion. 
how marvelous! 
[but how can it not be, chan marshall's voice is so smokey and amazing...]

it's 11:48 p.m.


i guess i am both a hopeless romantic, daydreaming my way through life, weaving fables i sometimes take place in, and an astronomer, calculating the distances between bodies traveling in orbits, and their relationships with one another- 
worlds both visible and invisible. 
recently, drifting in and out of my fore-brain are the the concepts of past/present, ideas about the difference between folks who are presently consistent in my life and those just passing through, and the pre-surgence of energy to push my creative legacy into be-ing. 

my day has thus been serendipitous, starting with an early a.m. message from a long-lost friend, to an unplanned surprise visit from the boy, to the meeting of 3 other dear friends and included 5$ combo drink specials to boot. 
oh, and i saw great music, live. 
just because i decided to take a different street home.
or not because- anything...
because- 
i don't believe in coincidences.


12:06 
the story of earlier tonight:
i left work late, and decided to dip onto my favorite modest watering hole afterward. 
after one round [of pbr and a shot of whiskey, both- for a five-spot] i found myself having a quasi-one-sided conversation with a feisty regular patron about philosophical inherent truth. 
[we may have disagreed with his soliloquy's points.]
the dog chases it's tail. 
rwewrwrooooff.


then long lost friend 2 walked in, and sat down to my right. 
stereophonic silliness ensued.
she was performing tonight. 
nice.
blabbedy blab blabedy.
 then friends number 3 and 4 strolled in. 
2, 3 and 4 hugged and made niceties. 
what?
i did not know they were friends and nonetheless worked together prior.
3 and 4 insisted that i stay on and watch the performances for the night.
i agreed.

12:33 a.m. currently.


and holy shit, i was totally going to leave before friend 2 du jour even walked in. 
so glad i had more swill in my glass when she walked in.
when 2 was done with her great set, this artsy-fartsy/artsy-smartsy band played. [called now you/hello dust?]  
i also ate chinese takeout, between acts, while sitting on a wall tonight. 
i used the chopsticks i already had in my purse. 
[veggies/rice stir-fry, and scallion pancake. yummers.]


12:48 in the eve

i exchanged info with everybody today. 
 metaphysical info. creative info. etherial info. contact info. 
the idea of friends/friendships all being uncertain, like life, has been mind-blowing; 
let's say for a two to twenty-two month span. 
my present friends are saying: 
shut up, 
fuck those who aren't there any more- especially for bullshit reasons- 
and in general, tell me just how silly i have been, acting all upset and overly nostalgic. 
i have some audacity complaining to those who actively love me- honestly! 
i accept the rediculous crap i am capable of. 


1:18 a.m., and all's well.

not that i won't continue to take my friendships seriously, but i will try to be mindful and flexible with the concept of them being forever, no matter how much i may treasure them. 
the same goes for any relationship. 
i mean, what type of connection lasts- always? 
genetic?
and getting back to the friends thing, friend 1 and i both moved and changed employ so many times since we were in contact, it was easy to lose touch due to those facts. to friend 2, i may have said some stupid insensitive words to, and made an ass of myself. and 3/4 i thought i lost in the great emancipation. but i thought of them all often.

1:33 and i find myself growing sleepyish.


moral:
people come, and people go, and some people return.


i want to travel

2:46 in the wee hours




p.s. enjoy the cancer/cancer solar eclipse, bitches! the third in a row of three eclipses in 31 days. wow.
3:11 a.m. as i type this. 

4 comments:

  1. Go to bed! Although I am reading this several hours after you have posted it. Now you/Hello dust is probably the most pretentious band name I have come across, excellent. And having chopsticks in your purse shows that you are prepared for any eventuality.

    ReplyDelete
  2. um, i agree @ the name. at least the duo was funny and talented.
    was up till after 4 am.
    eclipse's fault.
    and i woke up @ 9am.
    what the?!?

    ReplyDelete
  3. It sounds to me like a really eventful evening. I admire that you have aquired the skill of using chopsticks!

    ReplyDelete
  4. Funny how life turns out sometimes aint it ?

    I have friends now that are - in relation to the number of years I've been in this life - fairly recent, but in conversations about where we have been and mutual aquaintances it's quite strange that we didn't meet long before we did.

    Especially with my now best friend.

    ReplyDelete

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