gra-tu-i-tous |grəˈt(y)oōitəs|
{ORIGIN mid 17th cent.: from Latin gratuitus ‘given freely,spontaneous’}
1. uncalled for; lacking good reason; unwarranted : gratuitous violence.2. given or done free of charge : gratuitous advice.
vi-o-let |ˈvī(ə)lət|{ORIGIN Middle English : from Old French violette} adjective:
1. a bluish-purple color seen at the end of the spectrum opposite red.
2. a herbaceous plant of temperate regions, typically having purple, blue,or white five-petaled flowers, one of which forms a landing pad for pollinating insects. Genus Viola, family Violaceae.
3. ME.

Sunday, February 17, 2013

Reasons I LOVE Living Single & (Han) Solo

Han Solo may have been my first crush!

{The following list is categorized by topic}

Who drank ALL the Java?!?!?


  • No sharing bathroom/shower time. If I am late to work, only my cat is to blame, which is to say: I hit snooze 11X while snuggling with Fletch before I head downstairs to find 4 piles of barf and a rogue turd. Those inconvenient treats do not mysteriously clean themselves up or evaporate into thin air if ignored. Believe me, I tried. If I had to calculate sharing a bathroom into that eeewquation, I would be fired from my job(s) and hate my mate!
  • Never hearing “is there any more coffee left?” Because: fuck yeah there is- AND cow-free milk!
  • Sleeping in as late as I want to/waking as early as I want to on my days off, which are akin to Nessie making an appearance. [See also: quasi-non-existent and therefor precious.]

TRY to NOT barf!


  • Arriving home from work greeted by cherished silence. (Occasional meows not included. Kitty cannot open the fridge & feed herself after all.) If I want to hear noises, it is all my doing, be they musical, productive/creative or my own voice chatting/singing. But most of the time, I keep it epically silent. It does my Soul good!
  • Going to bed whenever works for me. Maybe I fall asleep for a while on the couch before I go upstairs and crawl into bed, maybe I watch a video before I sleep while in bed. I decide. And I don't miss feeling compelled to sleep when my “other” does... or follow them to bed in hopes of getting laid/snuggling. Expectations = disappointments!
  • Unlike a human's snoring, the sound of my cat's snoring next to me in bed at night is sweet, comforting and charming. And quiet.

I found this image and thought to myself:

Creative Time:

  • If I feel inspired to sculpt or paint manically at 2 am and need to get it out of my system, say, until sunrise, I don't need to go to the studio across town (not an option without a car right now) to do so. Having the space (both in my home and in my Soul) to explore this process is vital and yes, it makes a huge difference even if there's another human body in my house. Really.
  • No self-consciousness about making music or singing off key. Fletcher doesn't judge or make me feel bad about my attempts at this outlet.

Like this, it was... EXCEPT the Pepperoncini were GONE TOO!


  • NEVER having to ask “did you eat the last avocado?” when I know it was my “other” but I am avoiding a trivial argument. I know it doesn't matter in the ephemeral big picture- but it does! [See also: coffee in the morning-time.]
  • Deciding about my meals without taking into consideration if anyone else ate already or is craving something different than I am. I abhorred those lame-ass calls to find out “where do you want to eat tonight?” especially to find out “oh, I already ate” then returning home to see only meat-related foods remaining in the fridge and all my vegetarian and vegan stuff gone! True fucking story.
  • Cooking late at night followed by cleaning up loudly after myself OR leaving the fallout all over the kitchen to clean up whenever I feel like it.

Were you raised in a barn?!?
Don't track mud through my house!


  • Cleaning the house or not cleaning the house happens whenever I decide. If my place is a mess, I made it so. I do not harbor resentment if I spend hours cleaning and it's untidy the next day. Who left stinky socks in the hallway? I did. Perfect place for them, no?
  • I pay my bills and rent on time. I do not need to ask for anyone else's share. No excuses.
  • The cat box is tidier than ever, since I do not hear any complaints about Fletcher's bathroom habits. Just hearing someone's dang whining about scooping it in the past made me not want to keep up with it- even when I did. I am a fervent scooper.

Too much of this... Ick.


  • Say I want to listen to some guilty-pleasures music full-blast, I do. And I sing along. No shame.
  • I am free to watch the same shows/movies over and over again without being questioned why. Because I do that too.
  • I get all the blankets. Every time. And the best pillows to boot.
  • The heat is on whatever temp feels comfy to me.

    I DID.


  • Often and with no regrets or embarrassment. 

It is a Vessel Which Holds Beverages!

All in all, I love living alone, as well as being single. I initially moved out as a teenager and lived alone with Fletcher and Zenobia until my lover moved in with me. I lived solo for almost 7 years in my own apartment before she moved in. It was wonderful. Even if I wasn't living with a lover, I lived with room-mates, all dudes. With the exception of one, they were Messy Marvins or downright pig slobs. Gross.
And after 15 solid, tedious, rollercoastery years living as a chronic monogamist, I needed some time off the dating grid. Enough about that.

Ann & Nancy are SO Badass! 
Feel free to sing along & even rock some air-guitar!

Friday, February 15, 2013

Gratuitous Valentine at Work

This afternoon at work, we got started in on a conversation about being gay-for-pay, a subject
I enjoy teasing him about. (A subject I tease most "straight dudes" about!) 
So- of course, I had to make a very special Valentine's Day card for my coworker, who is ridiculous and cracks me up easily. 

Sorry for the flip-a-roo!

"Happy Happy Adults Only Valentine's Day!"

Nice eyes... they are the windows to the dong!

The other side was not left unattended:

"Adults 18+ Only!"


{my cat}

Tomorrow I will leave this in his lunch-box before I walk home. Yes, I said lunch-box*. 
So stupid. 
Hope you had a fun V-Day & didn't catch the clap!!!


* No, I don't work with a kindergartener- he is legal in all 50 states. Even Utah, where I DON'T live, thank Godzilla!

ODB and the Underworld

I was planning tonight to do an Aquarius themed illustration, so I was online looking up related info.

Why did I come across this?

Live at the Aquarius Theatre

No, it is not Will Ferrell, a'la SNL skit about the Blue Oyster Cult, it is fucking Jim "leather pants and velvet blouse" Morrison!
And he was a Sagittarius by the way...

Honestly, I love Will Ferrell waay more than that ODB (Original Douche Bag) Jim Morrison- forever!
Which leads me to a lame story about this Summer.
I was hanging out with a “friend” at his house. He made me dinner and put on some mood music afterwards. Guess what he played?
Yup, you guessed it.
The Lizard King.

Put your balls in his hand

 He actually fucking said this to me: "Jim was a real poet, man..."

What are we, in eight grade?

Rumi was a real poet, Plath was a real poet.
Jezus titty-fucking Crisp, what is this world coming to?!?!?

It seems that although many dudes assume that the ladies ooze in their pants when ODB JM is crooning on the stereo with his crotch into the mic, therefor he imbues them with his luck of poon-snatching.
Can you say cliché'?
Now, I already was inspired that night with full Moon vibes, and went over with lust on my mind, but Jim fucking Morrison?
Come on!

And speaking of ODB, the original O.D.B.:

WuTang Clan ain't nothin' to fuck wit!

OBVIOUSLY there has to be a link between ODB JM & O.D.B.

Perhaps there is a connection I overlooked!

Speaking of deceased rappers/hip-hoppers, how can I overlook another acronym the Notorious B.I.G.?

Answer: I cannot!

"Excellence is my prescence. Never tense, never hesitant."

Which leads me to think about Tupac...

"Fear is stronger than Love"

Tupac is totally one of my imaginary boyfriends. Imaginary and phantasmagorical. The world did not understand this sensitive soul who got caught up in some wicked shit that messed him up and ended up twisting into a chaos cyclone. He went to high-school for arty kids for Godzilla's sake!

More Ferrell

And while I'm driving the Soultrain to the Underworld...
Let's pour out a shot and visit a classic by Heavy D & the Boys from 1991:

All these these above guys were serious panty-droppers, but more honest and fun that dirty hippy JM.
And I like some dirty hippies.
For reals.
Like these cats:

ENJOY the rest of Aquarius folks, Pisces Sun visits soon!