this may or may not be a theme for me.
i don't rush to all my jobs, just the food service gigs. (maybe i should explore that deeper at a later date... hmmmm.)
okay, as i was saying, i was rushing to work- heading to the shitassed job i would soon enough get FIRED from. (see this post from december 2010.)
it was early winter in new england, and a crisp clear day. for those of you who are not familiar with the weather of new england- on a snappy morn such as this, the air was cold and dry, thus uber-charged with static electricity possibilities.
i had on a cute outfit, or so i believed.
it started with a fun 70's white and amber pseudo-floral print polyester dress, followed by a black lace sleeved/blouse-y thing, and supported by necessary underthings, including tights.
it ended with a puffy coat.
i was actually enjoying my ungodly-early walk to my shitty job.
there was a dusting of snow on the sidewalk and my boots made a great crunching sound as i walked. i may have even had a spring in my step. may have. no guarantees though.
i walk on, pass many cars and walkers, and am very close to my place of former employ, when i notice feeling much colder than when i ventured out. i look down and see that my zipper [a double-header] has unzipped from my knees UP- to about my waist.
i, being happy as a clam, had not noticed.
it was very cold out and i was sleepy. also, in my defense, i admit that i am, at times- a bit of a daydreamer- especially when i am out and about town. [yes, i realize this behavior has safety ramifications, but i am okay with that. so far, so good.] back to my little dilemma- i was rounding the corner by the entrance to work, and the puffy coat blew up- way up this time.
downtown new haven has a wind-tunnel effect for a few blocks due to the giant city buildings all clustered about the city green. okay- that said-
coat blew up. ass out.
well, maybe not the ass of your imagination, since i had on tights, but i looked like i forgot to wear pants that day.
which would explain the beeping and waving from strange passers-by.
moral of the story:
static charged air plus friction from a brisk walk plus polyester equals ass out.
now where are my pants again.....