gra-tu-i-tous |grəˈt(y)oōitəs|
{ORIGIN mid 17th cent.: from Latin gratuitus ‘given freely,spontaneous’}
1. uncalled for; lacking good reason; unwarranted : gratuitous violence.2. given or done free of charge : gratuitous advice.
vi-o-let |ˈvī(ə)lət|{ORIGIN Middle English : from Old French violette} adjective:
1. a bluish-purple color seen at the end of the spectrum opposite red.
2. a herbaceous plant of temperate regions, typically having purple, blue,or white five-petaled flowers, one of which forms a landing pad for pollinating insects. Genus Viola, family Violaceae.
3. ME.

Tuesday, May 24, 2011

i can totally believe it's not butter

my bra was trying now to impale me- much like vlad...

when removed, the mams' freedom released thoughts frometh my brain area.

now my frontal lobes are exploding vomiting into cyber space... 

may i offer a preemptive you're welcome:

it's thundering out.

isn't that one of the best sounds ever
a low rumbley thunder? 

next fact:
me and the boy both got wicked awesome news from our sexy-parts md.s this week:

i'm officially cancer-free!
and he's now shooting blanks!

jackpot indeed my lovelies.
 jackpot indeed.

why do i still get pimples 2x a month at my age?
it's proof that there is no god.

exhibit A

today was a studio day- and you know what that means... no?
let me ask you this then:
would it be wrong if i actually punch some bourgeois ignorant twat in the mug for saying some dumb shit to me about how she'd literally die if she didn't go to italy each year. 
fucking cunt. 
and when i reply that's too expensive for me, she says 
if she were me, she'd find a way
no violet, it's not that expensive at all.
fucking double-fisted-in-the-ass cunt.

reality check:
some of us can barely afford our cheap swill beer we need to drown out the fact that we're living in the shittiest of financial times. 
and we also need it  because most people we meet and encounter just plain ol' suck.
 why am i so fucking thick-headed to realize that i teach and monitor people who can easily afford $600+ art classes each semester... 

that's gravy to them.

marrow to me. 

that kind of extra spending cash is a thing of my past. 
hence having to move out of an amazing brownstone and in w/family because this fucking tightassed republicrat puritanical society we live in [those of us who are in the usa] does not fucking understand, not to mention- support artists 
avant garde thinkers.

okay- i know- i can move to some other place, but before you say that dumb ignorant shit, 
reread my beer statement.
fuck you, it's italy [disguised] all over again.

if one has never lived under a rock, 
how can they dole out catchall advice on how to move the rock?


not everyone has even been on a european [or any- for some] vacation people. 
open thy eyeballs.
some people can barely scrape by coins for caffeine- and that's important shit.

nomi knows

yeah, i can bitch and moan, and some more turds say how easy it is to bounce back, 
easy to find meaningful, satisfying, well paying work.
and to that i reply:

fuck you.

in the ear.

obviously those turds cannot hear... themselves [dick-in-ear?] bullshitting, 
or merely notice others' reality.

there are children starving in china.
isn't that what our parent's generation parents used to say to them at the diner table when they didn't eat.
well guess what?
china is here.
under our noses.
 sniff sniff.

and speaking of smell-
i thought i split my pants today, and when i bent and looked down at my crotch to see if it was true, 
i farted.
i straightened up and turned around and one of the richie ladies was standing directly behind me,
 waiting to ask me a question.
we ignored the fact that i had cropdusted us both. 
i'm naasty.
i thought i was alone in the room. 
wrong again.

i will leave you dear lovelies with a postcard from my edge:

i'd just die if i didn't go to bridgeport each year on vacation.

although i'm a new havener as of the last 18 years- i hail from b'po.
let's just say it's an edited chapter of my severely disenfranchised youth.


  1. Tony Van HelsingMay 24, 2011 at 12:01 PM

    I would simply DIE if I didn't go skiing in the Algarve, or some such bollocks. Thank you for a first class rant and gratuitous use of the word cunt. And the picture of the cock in someone's ear.


    maybe there's some fountain of eternal youth that she needs to drink from, strategically located in italy. maybe she really WOULD die if she didn't go to italy. you should sabotage her trip and test the odds that she'll shrivel up and DIE. win win!

  3. this works for me. this is the first post ive read of yours and i think we will get along just fine.
    "fucking double-fisted-in-the-ass cunt" am gonna have to use this line today at some point... you know like word of the day type shit...

  4. What tony said

    and the fart story

    Doncha just love that feeling when you take your bra off ? I do - but not the bit where I forget the boys are free and attempt to run downstairs.

    Congrats on the lady bits btw.

  5. Congratulations on the dr. news. And, yes, most days it bites dingleberries to be an unpaid artist...

  6. "why do i still get pimples 2x a month at my age?
    it's proof that there is no god."

    HAHAH, this must be true - either that or God has decided he wants to punish us :(

  7. fantastic news on the partner shooting blanks. I wonder what you guys will do to celebrate...?


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