gra-tu-i-tous |grəˈt(y)oōitəs|
{ORIGIN mid 17th cent.: from Latin gratuitus ‘given freely,spontaneous’}
adjective:
1. uncalled for; lacking good reason; unwarranted : gratuitous violence.2. given or done free of charge : gratuitous advice.
vi-o-let |ˈvī(ə)lət|{ORIGIN Middle English : from Old French violette} adjective:
1. a bluish-purple color seen at the end of the spectrum opposite red.
noun:
2. a herbaceous plant of temperate regions, typically having purple, blue,or white five-petaled flowers, one of which forms a landing pad for pollinating insects. Genus Viola, family Violaceae.
3. ME.

Tuesday, July 26, 2011

my vagina makes the world go round

please watch this. i promise you will not regret it.

now, wasn't that informative?

when i saw this mess of a commercial on sunday, i shrieked in laughter quite heartily- and almost spewed my juice out through my nose. 
what else could i do, but call up my gays and scream in hysterics about it on their voice mail. 
dang, those bears sleep in late!

 i believe in hailing to all the amazing vaginas of the world, and have friends who call me v or vv, so i am no stranger to the vagina reference or whathaveyou, but now i feel like there is another level of rediculousness i am a part of- no matter how indirectly.
and in spite of the convincing ad, i don't advocate deodorant sprays or disinfectant shampoo for your snatch. 
ladies- a nice wet washcloth with some gentle scrubbing should do the trick.
and if yo junk reeks like skunk- call a doctor, please.

pussy shampoo: 
now in bacon and cheddar flavor.

guess who?

p.s. just a note to all you lovers of the prized v: {95% of the world, that is,} please take the pussy in your life seriously. 
get her checked out yearly by a m.d., 
and please, for the love of all good,
 learn the proper terms for her and all her related parts, 
as well as explore ways to make her feel her best. 
this is 2011, "down there" is a fucking insulting term. 
grow up.
own your parts proudly.
there is no time for shame, ladies. 
that ship sailed a looooong time ago.

90% of you men know or love a pussy

and for those of you folks who have daughters, please teach them the proper terminology and care for their vaginas as well. 
think about it, healthy little girls grow up to be healthy women. 

after all, we all came from vagina.

i am glad i have one. 
don't want a penis.
never did.

a link for you, just in case you were in the dark about the blessed beginnings of the civilized world:

10 comments:

  1. omg, this is funny because i've actually seen that commercial once or twice but always lost interest before the end and assumed it was for a video game or something. or maybe i just started daydreaming about jousting and missed the punchline because i was thinking about what a good idea it was for those guys to wear armor.
    the whole concept of summer's eve or whatever it's called is maddening...the vagina is a self cleansing organ for cunt's sake.

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  2. Hey, if an industry can build enough self-consciousness and paranoia to sell a product, they will.

    I don't have any sound capabilities on this computer.
    I'm just SURE that commercial would make more sense with sound...

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  3. FFF! Fucking Fabulously Fantastic! yeah you tell 'em V!
    Oh hell yeah, I take care of my vagina very well so it best to handle my center with the utmost love and disrespect!
    Absolutely enjoyable post! Love it!

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  4. The only advantage to having a 'P' is that I can write my name in the snow. Not much of an advantage, but there you are.

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  5. id- when i saw it, i thought it was a history channel ad. smart marketing, but stupid product. glad that you, too, are aware of the self-cleaning aspect of the V.
    katy- if you watch tv, you will run into the commercial. it's rediculous. the media still sucks though.
    basher- thanks, and my vagina says thanks too. give lots o' love to yr lady bits, and you can't go wrong.
    al- i have to use a stick or a finger to write in the snow, you must be made of pure magic! if you happen to watch the steven colbert show, check out the 7/25 episode, and he has a parody called autumn afternoon dick scrub commercial. love him.

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  6. Thing is you might not want a penis - but if you have a vagina it's quite easy to get one.

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  7. It seems that the advert is trying to glamorize vagina sprays, pretty creey. If you ask me, it would be appreciated a lot more if someone created a penis spray. Unless they already exist, then where can I buy one? :)

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  8. Hey...I like pussy too, and I'm a man. The one thing about penises, they sure come in handy when in the great out of doors and ya gotta pee.

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  9. The commercial struck me more as a documentary, right up till that last bit.

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  10. dave- i did too, but after it caused wars, and societies to crumble- i was laughing so hard, i thought something MUST be amiss.
    thanks for reading, and being a new member of THE CHEESE CLUB

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