gra-tu-i-tous |grəˈt(y)oōitəs|
{ORIGIN mid 17th cent.: from Latin gratuitus ‘given freely,spontaneous’}
1. uncalled for; lacking good reason; unwarranted : gratuitous violence.2. given or done free of charge : gratuitous advice.
vi-o-let |ˈvī(ə)lət|{ORIGIN Middle English : from Old French violette} adjective:
1. a bluish-purple color seen at the end of the spectrum opposite red.
2. a herbaceous plant of temperate regions, typically having purple, blue,or white five-petaled flowers, one of which forms a landing pad for pollinating insects. Genus Viola, family Violaceae.
3. ME.

Tuesday, July 5, 2011

the thank you blob-roll: volume two- a wonky whitman's sampler

it's upon us again, the gratuitousness you have grown to love so... it's the thank you blob-roll featuring idiocy from all over the globe, 

and with us today, we have:

~ a young woman giving tips on fun stuff to do in the summer. 
let's take a peek, shall we? 

      Help others by:  

  Dressing, speaking, and acting like Jesus!  

fuck the beach, i'm donning a burlap sack [or just a tattered loincloth,] and a wicked awesome faux beard. 
then maybe i can walk on water and shit. 
or turn some agua into grapa. i'll be a hit at bbq's. 
more than i already am, that is.

just like mama used to make

~ and another holy roller mother[fucker] who has history down pat with:

  Jesus Himself created the world  

my brain may explode if i linger on the above statement for too long!

oh jesus. oh kids. oh jesus. oh kids... 

~ then there was the lazy blob with all the photos posted sideways. dumb, boring, out-of-focus photos.
 wow, i really want to read on now! thanks, stupid.

maybe her dome is fashioned like this: 


~ and yet another god-loving family blob about these people who are [sub]missionaries around the world, telling all the little brown heathens bullshit a'la fear-based, self-reighteous lies- to scare the shit out of them into submission, and this is one statement i especially enjoyed:

  God is doing something amazing in Panama.  

he is? 
is it as amazing as what this guy did for panama?
i seriously doubt it.

assless chaps win. every time.

~ not surprised to hit another one of these unoriginal bores: 

  I love my Lord and Savior, Jesus Christ! He rocks my socks off!!  

rocks her socks off? 

dj lance rock from yo gabba gabba rocks my socks off!

i swear, i just clicked the next blob>> button and hit after fucking hit, everyone on blogger loves the shit out of jesus. 
where are the perverted kinky blobs, or the nascar blobs? 

next blob>>.

~ a fatalistic pastor opens up about the apopolypse. 
[that's when the end happens while we enjoy cherry ice pops.]
he says: 

     So, Saturday the 21st is the day the world comes to an end!   

  To be honest I cannot wait for that day. The Bible even says that we should pray for it.  

and i retort with:
 "we have to pray, just to make it today!" -mc hammer

~ some lady [of a family blob] only posts about what she eats every day. as in : 
this morning, i had a cereal bar by x brand for breakfast, grapefruit slices for a late morning snack, fat free turkey on wheat toast with mustard, and 3 pickle chips with black coffee for lunch... complete snooze alert. 
for the love of pete, can't she eat better/more interesting foods... she can't be trying to lose weight, she's an old frail-looking twig already.

 aw snap!

please excuse the odd font formatting, i have no idea why it's all wonky, but it too, suffers from whitman's sampler-itis.


  1. dress, speak and ACT like jesus?

    i've really been working on my "bread to fish" card tricks, but i don't think i'm as advanced as jesus....

  2. I wouldn't use the next blob button anymore, if I were you.

  3. AP- giddy up indeed! david lee roth is such a truly generous trendsetter. i wonder if he writes a blob?
    Lucy- with the perfect sandals, i bet you'd advance in deeds past the jesus.especially with the mud in the eye blind guy party trick. try it.
    flip- i know, i sometimes get tired at night, yet am touched with insomnia a wee bit, and that's when i make the bad decision to next blob>>

  4. Dang! My first comment didn't go through,sodding internet connection.

    Can't help wondering if the guys in the first picture are a by-product of an incestuous affair between siblings, or the result of a genetic experiment between humans and mules...very funny post by the way.

  5. It's been a lovely day of laughter and this closed the deal! Great fun reading it!

  6. Violet: I love you to bits but don't have a fucking clue what it is you are trying to say. To be honest I don't know what I'm trying to say either so we are in good company. Eat 'em and Smile by Dave Lee Roth is a classic album.

  7. david lee roth was arrested for buying a nickel bag, and when asked why such a small amount for such a big cleb he replied "cause that's all I NEEDED, BABY!"

    eat 'em and smile indeed.

    and another thing, tony- sometimes it's best to play the babbling fool. who cares what they/we are trying to say?

  8. cleb. celeb.

    i am such a fool.

    for david lee roth of the 80's, that is

  9. I can give you the URLs of some downright filthy blobs if you really want.....

    For some reason I will occasionally hit one via the 'next' button.
    Doesn't everyone ?

    Just me then. Can't imagine why.

  10. dcg- it is just you... (and maybe those who would be shy around it [irony?]) hence the dirty in dirty cowgirl in you calls it forth.

  11. This is amazing. I'm aware that I write pointless posts for my blog, but sometimes when I read other people's blogs I'm thinking "What the fuck is this. Do they honestly think anyone cares?".

  12. I think we're overlooking what Van Halen did for Panama as well!

  13. It is not easy to pull off a pair of assless chaps. And by "pulling off" I mean "not look like an idiot wearing them," not "pulling them off of a human body."

    I have to agree with Rafa, though, that Van Halen did quite a bit for Panama. I mean, I was there for nearly three months before I realized I wasn't going to be able to find anyone to "Reach down between my legs / Ease the seat back"...

    I sort of regret writing this comment.

  14. your collage blog is the most exciting thing i've seen all week. do you make zines?

  15. amisachu... thanks!

    i have said, for 20 YEARS that i wanted to make a zine. it seems as if i am a tad scattered and have not exactly gotten that far YET. i have loads of ideas, but lack the direction i need... do you have a zine? if so- do have any tips???

  16. i forgot the "i" ami... sorry. i am a sub-par typist.


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