Applause Applause Applause

Applauses All Around.

For Moi.

Mimi @ Magical Mystical Mimi bestowed me with this:

Originally from someone called Unicorna.

Like I could resist posting it 

Gratuitously...

AND

I f'n LOVE Owls.

So there's also that.

It came with some directions but I may be unable to follow them 100%.

I will do my bastardized best.

1. - Link back to the person who awarded you this award.
2. - Follow the person who awarded you this award.
3. - Proudly display your award on your blog.
4. - List 5 of your favorite things.
5. - Pass this award onto 5 fellow bloggees.

First of all, I love that someone found el Blob-o here cute. 

I fucking drop so many f-bombs and goddamned c-bombs, it's like catholic school around here!  

(Bless us all!)

I will list my 5 favorite CUTE things, rather than my 5 general fave's. 

Let's face it, that's harder to do. Let's go!

1) Baby freiken animals. 

 Put a baby animal in a basket and I will fall over dead:

That shit is like my Kryptonite. No exaggeration. 

2) Miniature stuff that's used in everyday life: 

tiny furniture, 

mini kitchen appliances,

 micro home-wares, 

tiny tarot, etc.

3) When Fletcher snores. 

Or any cat/dog who "talks" in their sleep &/or "runs" while laying down and sleeping as well. 

Have you experienced this? 

Amazing stuff.

4) When I overhear little kids use swear words.

I used to be a nanny and my little charge would exclaim "Shit!!!" when he dropped anything. That was his "father's" doing, not mine. 

I just enjoyed it inside. 

It is also adorable when I hear little fuckers with foreign accents.

 How cute is that? Very.

5) Creepy old dolls with missing limbs and such. 

Stuff cute yet bordering on the grotesque usually grabs my attention. 

Like three-legged dogs or cats. 

If it's maimed, I usually want to hug it as I squeal "Awwww", then bring it home, or mail it to a friend. Well, maybe not mail a dog to a friend exactly. 

Alrighty then... I have to pass this cuteness on. Great. 

I shall pass it onto those folks who may see "cute" in ways I deem cute.

I.E. Ridiculously.

~ Katy @ Lesbians In My Soup because she's knife-sharp and I love soup. 

~ Flip @ Hill Blocks View because he tells lies to us regularly and I laugh because of those said lies.

~ Dirty Cowgirl @ Left Alone with a Full Moon because she enlightens us about random thoughts, twisted and distorted with quite witty proportions.

~ Lucy @ How to Hate Everything because without the how-to part, I would be a dirty hippy.

~ Greg @ Greg Scott's Compendium of the Weird and the Wonderful because he's one funny mofo.

And because he's all over the place being funny and poignant, and doesn't give a shit:

~ Rafa @ The Rude Blog.

So take it or leave it. 

It is Oscar night right?

Consider YOU awarded.

Grumphphph.

fancy gowns and award shows

and tonight, in the silky cheetah jammy pants and the black walgreens (TM) tank top, 

we have moi, sashaying down the red carpet, bloated and thirsty.

okay, i'm sitting on the floor. 

there is no red carpet. 

but everyone who's anyone was there!

all seriousness aside, it really is awards night, my little cheeze-its!

and who better to honor than myself?

i'm a winner alright! 

i love dapper squirrels, and wine, so win-win for me, right?

who cares that this pic makes absolutely no frieken sense?

would anyone on the interweb dispute the deliciousness of cupcakes?

just as i suspected, no-one.

accept.

this fucking mess is awesome

{my favorite award actually. hideous/awesome}

yes i am.

but i'm lime-esque, 

or so i have been told.

not really.

but i have been called sour.

just because whomever made the pie the right way, 

i will accept.

i really enjoy fruit pie.

yuuummmm.

pie.

because i use fancy phrases.

and swear-words often.

how sweet.

see, i told you!

comes with a pump.

and lube.

the roses on the shoe soften the blow- 

when this shoe makes toe-to-ass contact.

never seen anywhere near the proper grammar award

is he holding a sock puppet, and a goblet? 

i really do hope so.

accept.

i am so tickled pink!

all this fanfare makes me want to toss the pigskin around!

me too, spongebob, me too!

i'm huge in italy

all over the lonely world, actually

like here

and here, mon

and especially here

but i have one question:

where's the glitter i deserve?

that's a bit more interesting.

at least it's dong-ish.

speaking of dongs...

wait...

what?

what's going on here?

feel free to grab any award and give them to yourself. 

or grab one or five and share with anyone whose you blob you read, 

or even better-

a stranger.