gra-tu-i-tous |grəˈt(y)oōitəs|
{ORIGIN mid 17th cent.: from Latin gratuitus ‘given freely,spontaneous’}
adjective:
1. uncalled for; lacking good reason; unwarranted : gratuitous violence.2. given or done free of charge : gratuitous advice.
vi-o-let |ˈvī(ə)lət|{ORIGIN Middle English : from Old French violette} adjective:
1. a bluish-purple color seen at the end of the spectrum opposite red.
noun:
2. a herbaceous plant of temperate regions, typically having purple, blue,or white five-petaled flowers, one of which forms a landing pad for pollinating insects. Genus Viola, family Violaceae.
3. ME.

Thursday, March 15, 2012

Please Don't Cut a B*tch

In my extracurricular research using the Google to research hair* color I found some mega-disturbing photos online. I know I live under a rock and all, not paying attention to fashion [other than sweatpant no-nos... Read ALL about it HERE!] or celeb mayhem. And I admit I get my second-hand pop culture references from SNL, but I am okay with that scenario. 

So just now, I was checking this beauty out:

Love that red hair. But which red am I drawn to???

Which lead me to another famous redheaded singer, Tori Amos.

This is how I pictured her in my head from the olden days of like 6 years ago...

EEEKKKK! What's happened here?

So, I got on this unicycle of brain waving about the other women who I no longer recognize as easily due to the cutting of a bitch in the face. Used to be cutting the face was a threat from your pimp, but now, every famous [or so it seems] woman over 12 wants to lop off part of her head and inject an oozing bag of poison inside it. 

This woman used to be a famous starlet:

Remember her in "When Harry Met Sally"

Meg Ryan seems like a different person from this scary woman:

Sally does not live here any more.

I am sad about this stuff. It's yucky and seems like self-torture. 
Am I the only person who gets bummed out when I see this shit?
Another starlet whose photo shocked me earlier is this vamp:

I think Rose's the cat's meow here, but I guess she did not agree.

So she did what every other Hollyweird lady does: 
She cut a Bitch!
 
I had to put 2 pics, because I don't get it AT ALL. 
Entire new face.

I liked the old face better. New face looks older. Poop.
And speaking of older, I KNOW you saw this new reveal:

Just last week on the Today show. 
More like the Tomorrow show.

I swear... I thought it was her mother!

Late 2010. I am not kidding. Lohan
She looks real here, right.

This Love is also recognizable:

I Love the messy Love best.

Got clean from smack, got new tits, got a new nose, got extensions, got a tan...
Lost so much more than that.

Now. 
Ow.

I did not post this to be nasty. I just do not get it. 
How is it acceptable for this type of willing facial alteration to go on before our viewing eyes? I am  so grossed out by the procedures that these type of changes entail. 
I can watch open-heart surgery on tv, and I have, but the one time I saw a face lift, I ran to puke. Barf.

Now, I am not perfect, far from it, but I think the imperfections add charm. 
Maybe I just do not understand the so-called public eye chasm, but what the hell, not all women in show biz buy into this crap.
I am also not buying into the argument that "it makes them feel good about themselves" because one has to be a smidgeon of narcissist to be in the public eye. You have to have some semblance of feeling like the shit, no? Why not be the shit?
When I hear interviews with these women who get like 30 MILLION $$$ a movie try and tell these sad fake stories about how they were the ugly duckling as a kid, I find it hard to believe. 

What's next, they are going to try and sell me some magic beans? Please.

This post happened because I wanted to look at red hair. 

Screw it, I am going to stay brown-haired with my occasional illustrious silvers running through it. I earned every damned one! {And I still look younger than most of those cut bitches, regardless! Youth is a state of mind, and with my im-maturity level, I shall remain young for a long long time!}

* I have had un-dyed hair for over 2 years now. I feel naked. I have been dying my hair since I was 11. Don't ask how old I am, it is now considered rude. Do the math, smarty-pants.
And if you call me Ma'am, I Will Cut ya, Bitch!

12 comments:

  1. Meg Ryan looks like a Guppy.
    I've no wrinkles yet but when I do get them, I shall display them proudly for the world to see. A testimony of the challenges I've faced in life.

    I love my grey hairs, all 5 of them, 4 of which are on my head. Why did no-one tell me that you can get grey hairs elsewhere! WHHHHHY!

    Great post as always!

    ReplyDelete
  2. This is a post I would have loved to write. I am a fan of all of these women, and was disappointed that they did not practice what they preached, especially Tori. I have been listening to that woman since childhood. Plastic surgery was the last thing I ever expected her to do.

    ReplyDelete
  3. My thoughts in no particular order.
    1) Today is the Ides of March. A famous bitch got cut on this day in history.
    2) Kenny Rogers got effed up by the knife.
    3) If I was rich, I might lose some of my Cyrano de Bergeracesque nose.
    4) Boobs are pretty awesome, fake or not.
    5) Yesterday was pi day.
    6) I agree that getting cut is silly, but in the end... hey, it's your face.

    ReplyDelete
  4. I am SOOOOO with you on this!!! Please step away from the cosmetic surgeon!! They look hideous!!! I don't know what they were thinking.. Grow old gracefully or at the very least, if you MUST go under the knife, do it a little at a time, don't just blow your face up! It's sad..

    ReplyDelete
  5. Lily,
    Meg Ryan may, in fact, be a guppy. Let's feed her some freeze-dried brine shrimp and test out this theory!!!

    Nellie,
    I may or may not be a fan currently, but just seeing them made me feel bad- first for them, then for all the women who look up to them. As if that is exemplary. Ick.

    FLip,
    My thoughts in no particular order:
    1] cold and flu season sucks
    2] where is my tea?
    3] boobs are best when they don't leak- real or false.
    4] where in the world is Carmen Sandiego?

    Mimi,
    Put down the scalpel and back away from the gurney!

    ReplyDelete
  6. Yeah, you're damn right sister! Absolutely with you here!

    These women just seem to have completely lost their self-esteem they would rather look like anorexic toads than build on the beauty that glows from within. Bloody shame but that's Hollywood glitter for you. If you ain't a size Zero or a 1, you're frickin' fat! If your boobies are not at least Cup C, you're gross! If your lips don't pout like they got an all night beating, then you're not sexy! Bwahahahaha!

    That's how beautiful women end up to be ugly ducklings when they get old. Nothing can defy the Principles and the Law of Gravity. C'est la vie!

    I adored Lindsay Lohan in Parent Trap. I begun and stopped there.

    And speaking of Carmen San Diego, gawd, I miss that game!

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. PBB,
      Stupid Hollywood has gone berserk! WHat are the men of Hollyweird doing?
      Oh, that's right... nothing.
      Unless they are self-hating vain gays... especially the closet cases.
      I rest my case.
      And so what if your tits don't point up to the sky? Or if you cannot rest a beer on your cheekbones? Putting botulism in the face is pure grossness. Blecchhhc

      Delete
  7. You are so right.
    I actually don't see anything wrong with women whose bodies have been ruined by having babies getting a tummy tuck or a boob lift, and I have a friend whose back was pretty much saved from severe curvature of the spine by getting her (ginormous) boobs reduced. But if it aint broke don't fix it, and you cannot really turn back time either so leave your fucking face alone.
    In the end it always seems to catch up with them, either by taking it too far and ending up looking like Joan Rivers - stretched beyond recognition, or just plain weird. I can't think of her name but there's an actress whose face looks old from the nose down while the rest is fine.

    As you say, age is a state of mind.

    ps I have recently become a red-head, I have too much grey and naturally almost black hair so it really notices. But - I have always loved dying my hair so it's not like I suddenly did it to look young, and I do think that if you want a boost a new do is instant gratification.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. DCG,
      I hear ya. Surgeries like the ones you mentioned are not the same as duck-face-ism. And as far as Joan RIvers goes, at least she laughs at herself, is honest and poke fun at the travesty she is a part of. WHen "stars" lie and say they haven't done what is obvious to everyone with eyes- That is when I must stop listening to their words.
      And I LOVE looking at and having red hair. Still on the fence. Are you Lucille Ball red or cherry red or auburn or ...???

      Delete
  8. Yikes...Meg Ryan...effin' yikes! She looks like the Joker. This actually makes me sad.
    My first real girlfriend (which is not to be confused with fake, plastic girlfriends) had red hair. She seriously broke my heart.
    This also makes me sad.
    I still wouldn't want her to look like Meg Ryan, though.

    ReplyDelete
  9. R.I.P.
    The faces of all these women...

    ReplyDelete
  10. cut em all!

    i like it when celebrities get nose jobs "to breathe better". what the fuck ever. your nose is supposed to be a nose. men aren't supposed to want to fuck you because your nose is pointy and broken.

    ReplyDelete

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