gra-tu-i-tous |grəˈt(y)oōitəs|
{ORIGIN mid 17th cent.: from Latin gratuitus ‘given freely,spontaneous’}
adjective:
1. uncalled for; lacking good reason; unwarranted : gratuitous violence.2. given or done free of charge : gratuitous advice.
vi-o-let |ˈvī(ə)lət|{ORIGIN Middle English : from Old French violette} adjective:
1. a bluish-purple color seen at the end of the spectrum opposite red.
noun:
2. a herbaceous plant of temperate regions, typically having purple, blue,or white five-petaled flowers, one of which forms a landing pad for pollinating insects. Genus Viola, family Violaceae.
3. ME.

Saturday, January 7, 2012

It's Not Unusual To Be Loved By Anyone...

And I Love You, Readers... 
Weellll, many of you. 

NO-
 ALL OF YOU!

Tom Agrees

Okay, I was Googling again. 
Capri Pants this time.
Worst Capris to be exact, among others.

Let's go shall we?

Pacer Running Skapris... really?
Looks like it's an ad from the other side of the pond, if the price has anything to do with it.
I do not claim to know this shit UK fashion.
Y'all Brits need to 'splian this look to me.
Should we panic?
These pants fail on so many levels.
B-
(But since they sort-of remind me of Old Time-y swimwear, but in poly-morphic tones with futura fabric, they do not receive a C- or D+. What can I say, I like weird shit. But not like I would wear these... or would I? No. I love how Pants to U's are panties to US. I shall note this, yet not adjust.)

Gayness and Lycra- 
Meet your match!
C
Not low enough.
No bulge.
On second thought...
C-


Moving on:

This turquoise beauties were featured as Capris in the "Worst" category.
Prove to me it is truly capri, I shall be the judge.
I shall also refer to them as Vapris
{Vapid+Capris=Vapris.}
C-
(The file name when I clicked it was
  "ruby look thinner dont wear that dear" 
The file name gets an A.)

 Upon seeing those guns above, I immediately thought of Starla here:

Shim scares moi.
D-

And when I think about Starla, I think Body-building... 
and when I scrolled down( Capris Napoleon Dynamite,) these were featured:

Get In My Van
Want Some Candy?
Wannabe Homosexual Clown. Lazy.
Pass.
D-

Doris Day Rocks the Capris, the Torpedo Tits AND Gold Llame Flats!
A+


 Why was this on the Capri List?

pineappleupsidedownpornoslidecake
B+

Punchfest Twenty-Twelve
C-

And speaking of punches...

Right in the hipster 'stache!
Booya!
F- -


Back to Napoleon:

Not me, Rex, not me
C+



Interlude:
"Do you think anybody thinks I'm a failure because I go home to Starla at night? Forget about it?"


Back to the show:

B+
(click on hot pink link above for the real deal)

Yes, this gem was actually on one of the researched Capri Pant visualatti list. 
I am contemplating printing it out as an iron-on.
A 

 More Gratuitousness:

LOOOVEE Dave Chapelle!
And Prince!
A

Yes, all these pics on this blob were found on my simple 3 page search for f'n Capri Pants. 

Baddass.
B+

I do Love me some Pedro. 
And his Cholo cousins with their convertible red glitter low-rider... 
Mee-ow!
Someone get me some ice-water.
B
(Grade is for Pedro here. No pants, nonetheless Capris. The Cholos get an A-.)


Happy Frieken New Yarr.
Merry Leap Year.
Whatever.

 Oh- also of the Gratuitousity theme:
My Latest Blob.
GO!
(another pink link folks)


P.P.S. Check this crap out as well:

13 comments:

  1. The second pair was NOT gayness. Gayness would have a bulge. We CARE about the bulge. Just sayin'. And that cake made me hungry.

    ReplyDelete
  2. That cake made me horny, and I agree @ the bulge.

    ReplyDelete
  3. That sounds a bit filthy. Violet and Jamie agree @ the bulge:0

    ReplyDelete
  4. Never mind Skapris, last year the biggest clothing must have were 'jeggings.' That's right, leggings that looked like...wait for it...jeans.

    See, how clever are we?? (note the sarcasm)

    ReplyDelete
  5. Lily- we had a tv advert selling "Pajama Jeans" earlier last year. Another fashion anomaly! Legging meets "jeans" meets jammies. Awful

    ReplyDelete
  6. Ew, I did see the fashion don't Jeggings. *shudder*. Sadly it is a style here to wear your pajama bottoms out. Because nothing says cool like I can't be bothered to shower and dress in the morning:P Yeah, I'm gonna sit in the desk furthest away from that person.

    ReplyDelete
  7. I'm just gonna sit here a bit while I laugh and snort at your post - including the readers' comments!

    Love it!

    ReplyDelete
  8. DAMMIT Vi! You forgot the best capri of all; Capri Sun! Know what would be cool? if someone made Capri's from Capri Sun wrappers. It would be so damn literal. And sexy. And shiny. And awesome.

    ReplyDelete
  9. Did anyone click the links... esp "Starla's" ???

    ReplyDelete
  10. No. Does it take sweet jumps?

    ReplyDelete
  11. There are no worse capris than man capris. My ex lived in Spain for a while and said they're all the rage with Spanish men. Go fucking figure.

    ReplyDelete
  12. That pineapple upside-down cake has me thinking.
    I want to visit the bakery.
    Naked.

    ReplyDelete
  13. Flip,
    Sweet jumps will ensue!
    Al,
    That cake is like a cheap strip bar, resplendent with fake tatas and plastic shoes... but I simply cannot look away!
    Beer,
    Spanish men are so f'n hot, I wonder if they pull it off?

    ReplyDelete

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