Happy Zombie Jesus Day, Bitches!

Alternative title:

Blasphemy melts in your mouth, not in your hands.

(Because you have stigmata and it falls thru the holes!)

Something melted in his hand...

Once upon a time, before the money-grubbing, child-raping christians of The Church (NOT the band) started cranking out The Crusades/the original genocide machine and spewing fear into the minds and hearts of the European folks, most people followed a lunar/pagan calendar. 

"Herb, how did we get here?"

Following natural law and ancient methods of honoring Mother Earth, the heavens and primal instincts, they celebrated holidays according to changes in season. They observed the 13 lunations of the solar year. They planted, harvested, feasted and mated according to their interpretation of nature's requests. 

Look ma- no pants!

The word Easter comes from the name Eostre/Ostara- who is a Germanic dawn goddess who is associated with the vernal equinox, the beginning of the Sun-rise of the astrological wheel/year- Sun in Aries, mating rites of spring and the blessings of the Earth in Her ripening.

Hooter fucking Mania

Her totem is a hare or a rabbit. Perfect animal for her since many creatures- including us humans- are inclined to f*ck like bunnies in the spring, no? Even the trees are releasing their seed/pollen!

EEEK!

Now back to the evildoers of manufactured fear and guilt:

WTF

The greedy motherfuckers who commissioned the building of churches and cathedrals all over the UK and Europe thought they were mega-smart, and they were- to a point. They wielded their poisonous agenda throughout the continent like gangbusters, for like 400 f'n years. Perhaps you have heard of The Crusades? Witch burnings? you know the word "fag" comes from those wondrous times, don't you? As in when they were burning women at the stake, they also burned gay folks, the mentally ill, and the untamable/wild. When they wanted to stoke the flames to get the midwives and gypsies to crackle and pop faster, they'd say "throw another fag on the fire." And then toss in a gay person. Makes me want to run right the fuck out and join their cult/church. OR plot a takeover!

Nightmare fodder

But I digress... 

Like any smart-assed narcissist, these sly bastards put themselves first and ignored a few important details which to this day, we are blessed to still have reminders of. Remember- there was no separation of church and state [is there now??? not enough!] the church dudes were the suckas who set the taxes and collected them and punished those who could/did not pay. (See also: greed begets more greed, Wall Street, Lindsey Lohan's dad, modern day financial bullsh*t and more!) Building grand buildings to honor themselves god was not cheap. No siree Bob, it was not, it was muy dinero! So what does the filthy rich squad of churchians do? They start extra recruitment of the "heathen" sect whereas they scare the daylights out of them with false reenactments of what happens to those who do not "believe" in their monotheistic, judgmental biblematic god. Oh, and aside from people, they burn their crops too! Add to that, they rape/beat them if the to-be-converts didn't "believe" and stuff. 

That's cool, right?

Grandpa has OCD

At this point, it is safe to admit I have ZERO tolerance for the christian church's history. Fuck those lying bastards. Fuck the Catholic child molesters. Fuck the fear-mongers. Fuck them all.

"Uncle" Todd always was a bit creepy

And NO, I am not an Athiest, although I "get" those who are more than I "get" those who blindly go along with any church's teachings. I try to veer from any extremist groups. Fucking mindless sheeple, the whole lot! 

would someone please explain this to me

I have my own beliefs, my own faith, my own idea- of that which is beyond our realm of human understanding. I am not so pompous as to assume humans are the end-all be-all. Could be aliens out there wiser than us, dieties, flying spaghetti monsters, whatevs. I do my soul, you do yours. I NEVER insist that mine is the only way. 

But I won't hold back when people defend the religiously absurd. 

VETO!

LOOK at the shoes.

In order to take the already broken down peeps and inflict more pain and tax on them, the church introduced a christian calendar year that overlapped very closely with the deeply implemented pagan calendar. The big-hitters being easter/Eoster and christmas/Yule. Also- Jesus was probably a Pisces cusp Aries so- there's that detail too!

 And what do we have instead? 

Photo by moi. 

 ZOMBIE JESUS! 

This coming from idiots people who believe it is evil to see ghosts. Evil to talk to the dead.

BUT OKAY for some dude to start decomposing after a few jolly days deceased in a cave, then poof! "Hey guys, I'm here! Miss me?" He's now "risen" from the dead.

Spies?

Shit no he didn't, homeboy is a Zombie!

So go to church on Sun-day and wear a stupid hat, teach your babies that thoughtless tradition is the way to live, overeat candy till you puke.
That's fine.

(OR... go see a movie)

But know this:

The original designers and builders were masons who kept hidden their rich pagan-based world of beliefs and history. They built the holy buildings with pagan concepts infused in them. Built them according to the cardinal directions, many directly on lay lines of high Earthy majikal energy vortexes. Carved wiccan and pagan symbols in stones that they set into structural walls. Why? Because they wanted those remaining folks to go to these grand buildings and pray to their own Gods and Goddesses and have reminders of the old ways in the same buildings the new god and new ways.

GaGaGive me a break

It was not just the masons who infused ancient pagan culture into the present. Much of it is still being passed down by story, by word of mouth, by bloodlines. Because they may have burned down the ritual forests, burned the her-story libraries and art, burned the very people they found threatening, and succeeded at birthing a new group of taxpayers who were trainable and gripped in the clutch of fear, but some of us come from long lines of the natural kin whose story did not burn up in a fire.

That cannot be taken away.

I'm hiding MY eggs this year. 

Bring a spy-glass to find them in the yard.

 Happy Zombie Jesus Day, Bitches!