the thank you blob-roll: volume one- dumbass religious fanatics

today i gift to you, oh dear readers, a juicy new segment i will call

  the thank you blob-roll.

it will comprise of stupid shit i see and gasp at when i hit the "next blob" button. 

this, according to my predictions, will be a regular occurrence. and since you all know how i feel about the overwhelming amount of idiots who blob on a regular basis, i should not want for inspiration. 

yet due to the fact that i am aware that i have bitch tendencies, but am not an evil twat, i will keep the identities of said morons anonymous. as in- no links to their jerkoffism. 

sorry charlies. 

i know you want to stalk them and send them inappropriate messages. 

that's what i love about you. 

aaheeemmmm, here goes:

some dickwad is actually & seriously calling himself:

  daddy's little hand of god, and heaven's dew.  

what does this sound like to you?

i imagine daddy's little hand of god something like this:

"ohhh moses"

"ohhhh god"

and heaven's dew:

i know for a fact that horses have hearty dew. for a fact.

some people are all "i love jesus" and then post pics of themselves with their toddler daughters on their lap looking like a fucking nasty pedophile, [probably is] calling themselves daddy's little hand of god, and the daughter heaven's dew.

i swear, if i had a large polo mallet, and his fucking address... 

and on that note- here's a little something special i want you all to have:

spank that ass game

i got a 444

girls gone vapid/ 4 simple bloggy no-nos:

i have been a blogging addict to supplement my insomnia and feed the monkey on my back demanding words to spew forth like a poisonous hot spring.

i have been searching random interests in common with mine, books, and bands. i have actually found some great stuff that way- creative writing, fantastic art, rare knowledge... but that's just the select marrow in the center of the largest femur ever.

most of it's crap. or in a language i do not know. squiggles and shit elude me.

let me get back to the crap- i will break it down by genre [gawd, i hate that word!] and elaborate as needed.

1) the oxy-morons:

if your top interests include jesus and faith and serving your lord, does casual sex really go with those interests- morally or ethically? i hope these oxy's use condoms. 

please don't breed more morons.

2) the slutty teen girls:

please, for the love of all that is good, why- dear readers do these young women actually think they will EVER be taken seriously acting like 50 cent whores? blahblahblog... low self-esteem. 

fuck that. 

i say: over-inflated self-esteem, and a serious case of delusion/miley cyrus-ism... girls must be sexy to be valuable- BULLSHIT! 

this must stop!

these slutty teens always have names with kitten or juicy or some other dim-witted double entendre in their blog name/title- resplendent with porny cellphone pics as their banner. they must balance scant clothing options with philosophical interests, and genius i.q. scores, i'm sure.  

it actually makes me sad and quite ill.

do they not have parents? why are they ever allowed out of the house? will they regret acting like that, and having public proof of their skankism floating around online for eons? eeewwww. 

girls gone vapid.

"there is a time and a place for everything. it's called college."- chef.

3) family blogs:

updates on the kids, the dogs, the weather, the day trips, the fun world of breast-feeding... always lots of pics of those ripened sperm donations, more pics of mundane happenings, lots of bible quotes- or notes on their fulfillment via scrap booking. always penned by the vagina mom. 

after all, penis dad's probably off at "softball" switch-hitting with the local preacher. do the math. 

more condoms please. or salt peter in their water. BOTH!

4) the say nothings:

maybe there's one or two sentences. maybe a link to an ill-made you-tube video. maybe just pop-up adds. 

really? unacceptable. 

one more reason people need boatloads of birth control. 

just because someone has access to a computer, do they need to take up more than just their physical space on this spinning dirt-ball... thanks to these numb skulls, even cyber-space is overpopulated with sub par idiots!?!? 

fuck.

 it's frustrating, that's all

what kinds of blogs i do like:

food blogs, transition blogs, sarcasm @ society blogs, smart blogs, art blogs, honest yet humorous blogs, ethereal blogs, ridiculously nonsensical blogs, and pretty much anything intelligible and thought provoking.