the thank you blob-roll: volume two- a wonky whitman's sampler

it's upon us again, the gratuitousness you have grown to love so... it's the thank you blob-roll featuring idiocy from all over the globe, 

and with us today, we have:

~ a young woman giving tips on fun stuff to do in the summer. 

let's take a peek, shall we? 

      Help others by:  

  Dressing, speaking, and acting like Jesus!  

fuck the beach, i'm donning a burlap sack [or just a tattered loincloth,] and a wicked awesome faux beard. 

then maybe i can walk on water and shit. 

or turn some agua into grapa. i'll be a hit at bbq's. 

more than i already am, that is.

just like mama used to make

~ and another holy roller mother[fucker] who has history down pat with:

  Jesus Himself created the world  

my brain may explode if i linger on the above statement for too long!

oh jesus. oh kids. oh jesus. oh kids... 

~ then there was the lazy blob with all the photos posted sideways. dumb, boring, out-of-focus photos.

 wow, i really want to read on now! thanks, stupid.

maybe her dome is fashioned like this: 

eek!!!

~ and yet another god-loving family blob about these people who are [sub]missionaries around the world, telling all the little brown heathens bullshit a'la fear-based, self-reighteous lies- to scare the shit out of them into submission, and this is one statement i especially enjoyed:

  God is doing something amazing in Panama.  

he is? 

is it as amazing as what this guy did for panama?

i seriously doubt it.

 

assless chaps win. every time.

~ not surprised to hit another one of these unoriginal bores: 

  I love my Lord and Savior, Jesus Christ! He rocks my socks off!!  

rocks her socks off? 

idiot. 

dj lance rock from yo gabba gabba rocks my socks off!

i swear, i just clicked the next blob>> button and hit after fucking hit, everyone on blogger loves the shit out of jesus. 

where are the perverted kinky blobs, or the nascar blobs? 

next blob>>.

~ a fatalistic pastor opens up about the apopolypse. 

[that's when the end happens while we enjoy cherry ice pops.]

he says: 

     So, Saturday the 21st is the day the world comes to an end!   

  To be honest I cannot wait for that day. The Bible even says that we should pray for it.  

and i retort with:

 "we have to pray, just to make it today!" -mc hammer

~ some lady [of a family blob] only posts about what she eats every day. as in : 

this morning, i had a cereal bar by x brand for breakfast, grapefruit slices for a late morning snack, fat free turkey on wheat toast with mustard, and 3 pickle chips with black coffee for lunch... complete snooze alert. 

for the love of pete, can't she eat better/more interesting foods... she can't be trying to lose weight, she's an old frail-looking twig already.

 aw snap!

please excuse the odd font formatting, i have no idea why it's all wonky, but it too, suffers from whitman's sampler-itis.

the thank you blob-roll: volume one- dumbass religious fanatics

today i gift to you, oh dear readers, a juicy new segment i will call

  the thank you blob-roll.

it will comprise of stupid shit i see and gasp at when i hit the "next blob" button. 

this, according to my predictions, will be a regular occurrence. and since you all know how i feel about the overwhelming amount of idiots who blob on a regular basis, i should not want for inspiration. 

yet due to the fact that i am aware that i have bitch tendencies, but am not an evil twat, i will keep the identities of said morons anonymous. as in- no links to their jerkoffism. 

sorry charlies. 

i know you want to stalk them and send them inappropriate messages. 

that's what i love about you. 

aaheeemmmm, here goes:

some dickwad is actually & seriously calling himself:

  daddy's little hand of god, and heaven's dew.  

what does this sound like to you?

i imagine daddy's little hand of god something like this:

"ohhh moses"

"ohhhh god"

and heaven's dew:

i know for a fact that horses have hearty dew. for a fact.

some people are all "i love jesus" and then post pics of themselves with their toddler daughters on their lap looking like a fucking nasty pedophile, [probably is] calling themselves daddy's little hand of god, and the daughter heaven's dew.

i swear, if i had a large polo mallet, and his fucking address... 

and on that note- here's a little something special i want you all to have:

spank that ass game

i got a 444