The Flatiron Syndrome

I am livid. Pissed the fuck off. Frustrated.

And I am not interested in being soothed or calmed down.

I have recently had an important revelation:

Most of the males I have met are fucking shallow two-faced assholes.

Especially the ones who talk the talk otherwise.

They are the absolute fucking worst.

During the last year, I have been single. I have not been “on the market” for a mate, instead, I have been enjoying the single life. It has been full of meeting new people and flirting with guys. I adore my newish apartment and living solo. My neighborhood is a wonderful place to live and work.

New friends have come into my life, and overall- it has been a blast.

So why the kvetching?

I am surprised that at 38 fucking years old, I still find the men I meet to be the exact same as they were at 23. And I refused to date men when I was 23 because I found my male peers to be insipid idiots. I found female peers to be much more honest and sexy. [Duh,We ARE!]

I am just as angsty today about my male peers, perhaps more so than when I was younger, since for some fucking crazed reason, I expected guys to grow up.

Does this ever happen?

I shall paint you a picture.

I have been going to cafe's, parties and local haunts and having such brilliant interactions with attractive, funny, seemingly-smart men. Some have shown interest in me, exchanging contact info with me after what came across as meaningful intellectual conversations richly steeped in deep subject matter. In intimate settings, or with a small group [see: comfort zone] these guys were throwing the signals out.

Perhaps I misread them.

But after seeing them out and about, they ignore me somewhat or act completely different than when we conversed last. Especially if there is a female with them. Even my guy friends whom I believed were more sensitive and evolved have proved to be corny fucking stereotypes.

Here is what I have seen:

ALL of them like the same type of women- petite, demure, vacuous “pretty” little mice, mostly with flatironed hair. These women act coy and play silly, predictable games with men. 

I have no time for that shit.

Sweet Brown ain't got time fo that...

Will someone please give me a break?!?!?

Although these men enjoyed chatting with me and spending time interacting personally, they have absolutely no interest in me otherwise. Like 23 year old dudes, they still want the same type of girl- just a little girl. Are there any men out there who want a real woman?

Having always been dynamic and independent, I have been interesting to be around. This is fact- I am not being an asshat and bragging. I have confidence in my social and intellectual skills. I am keenly aware of my sexuality and bravado. I enjoy humorous exchanges and entertaining those around me.

Is that a crime?

I am versed in interests which have been labeled “masculine” by some. I own and operate power tools. I can weld metal and wield torches. I can fix a flat, change oil and filters and have a sophomoric sensibility about car problems [having owned lots of shitty cars will do that.] I can fix a toilet, re-wire electronics and do many minor home repairs. I do not mind manual labor or getting dirty doing so.

.

I am also versed in interests which have been labeled “feminine” by some. I adore cooking and sewing. I excel at decorating and gardening. My primary mode of getting clean is via bubble bath. I have long, full, curly hair and wear more dresses and skirts than pants. I am quite nurturing and sensitive.

Balanced masculine and feminine sides is the only option

In every relationship I have had, be it with a man or a woman, I was the stronger one- both physically and emotionally. Even though the males were bigger than I, they would complain about their bodies hurting after doing far less physically than I do on a daily basis. Oh sure, they could lift a few pounds more than I could, but they would bitch the entire time. What the fuck? Man up dudes!

Does a man exist who is attracted both intellectually and physically to a talented, strong independent woman like I am? Is this merely a myth? I am not buying the cop-out excuse that I am too strong. That is utter bullshit. It took me a long time to appreciate myself inside and out, and I am not about to go backwards now- or ever!

I do not primp or wear heels to feel like a sexy Goddess. I look everyone straight in the eyes when they speak. I need no rescuing or saving of any sort. I enjoy my own company and alone time immensely. I am not afraid to be single- but would greatly enjoy a partner to share the preciousness of life with and have a regular, healthy sex life.   

I am not looking for a knight in shining armor. For the most part, I was that person in my past. I am done with that charade. I want to meet my equal. I prefer to next have a male lover/partner, for a variety of reasons which I need not discuss at this time. He must love my curves and boldness, be attracted to me inside and out-

But he has to be more man than I am.

My Mr. Yes list:

{In no particular order}

~ Is available and naturally faithful.

~ Keen sense of humor and socially adept.

~ Has balanced masculine and feminine sides.

~ Is creative & passionate about making art/music/writing etc.

~ Is open-minded, spontaneous and fearless.

~ Sexy as fuck and has great chemistry with me.

~ Bigger and physically stronger than I am.

~ Respects and loves his mother/sisters [and therefor, women.]

~ Enjoys being in nature and likes camping.

~ Is affectionate and tender, thoughtful and caring.

~ Has an adventurous appetite for sex that matches mine.

~ Is employed and working on future career goals.

~ Has a strong shared spiritual belief system and actively expresses it.

~ Knows how to fix things/build stuff.
~ Is an intellectual match for me & inspires me to grow smarter.

~ Enjoys cooking [I desire a vegetarian/vegan man- for once.]

~ Loves animals- maybe he has a cat, too

After talking with other women, some single, some married, I do not know where to even begin. Many think I am asking too much. I am not. Some think that I need to open the parameters of the type of guy I want, be open to a less-artistic type. But only an artist understands the philosophical mind workings and moods of an artist. I want a mate I can work with on projects together, even if only small ones. I do not ever wish to be reliant on a mate for validation of my creativity and worth, I have that within already. Nor do I wish to have to explain why I am doing what I do creatively.

Am I crazy? Am I deluding myself?

Does he exist?

... Any thoughts?

Keep It HOT & Sexy, Bitches

Ahhh, the Summer. 

It is Hot.

It is Heavy.

So keeping with the theme of steam, I will share this little find with you all.

No, I am not Blobbing anywhere else, although I do appreciate other formats via which my fellow humans share thoughts and ideas and interests in cyborgland. 

Let's just say I was surfing for some erotica. 

Let's say that, okay?!?

SEE? Even puppets fucking know.

I am not going to call it porn, per-se, but some of you might.

So don't get all prude on me and unsubscribe because you haven't been laid in a long time.

I love you all anyway.

Not safe for work.

Not safe for the kids.

Primarily hetero, although not exclusively so.

HOT.

LINK To:

EROTIC SEX BLACK & WHITE WEBLOG ... DANG!!!!

you have got to be kidding me...

okay, i understand it takes all types of people to make up human-kind... but is it really necessary to have 8 or 14 fucking kids?
have we learned nothing?

i'm pissed!

let me start at the beginning shall i?

i like the little tab at the top of the page that says "next blog>>" because it brings you to a random blog written by someone else. my guess- without researching this- is that it takes a common theme you already researched or wrote about and runs with it. so, if i am blogging now about how i wish people would stop breeding like rabbits, and i hit "next blog>>", the likeliness of being sent to some sister-wives blog page, saturated with bullshit about their damn giant family- is high. there are thousands of them!

where are the philosophical blogs in random circulation?

where are the comedic blogs, or the literary blogs? why don't they pop up?

occasionally, i am sent to a cool art blog, but rarely.

sometimes i land on a travel blog, or even a foreign-language blog about mountaineering.

but every time i am on a jag of "next blog>>" i inadvertently land at the family pages.

blog after random blog like this: candace loves being a mommy, now her seemingly useless life has purpose- look at thad's picture... aww, how cute! 

and people follow this drivel! 

really?!?!?

i get it: people have kids.
duh.

okay, you want to have sex, then see a little version of you run amok.
even live your dreams vicariously through them.
precious.
i don't.
fine.
but what's wrong with birthing one, or two?
for the love of the planet, which is obviously not a concern for most breeders, why have more kids than you can count on their left hand?

update: women have 2 breasts, not 8 teats or an udder. thank you very much

if one more idiot tells me that god blessed the couples who have teams of kids, i will scream bloody murder!
talk about taking the name of god in vain...

i say- hey asshole, have 4 more babies, and screw your tax break. you get taxed higher. a thanks for screwing the planet tax, or a goodbye to natural resources tax.
do i get a break for conscientious lack of breeding?
do i get a party where people buy me cute shit and i make them oh and ah for hours while i open it up in front of them and we all eat stupid mini-sandwiches?
nope.
i get stares and sideways glances from moms who assume i envy them. ha!
i get told that a woman isn't a fully a real woman if she's not a mother.
i get told i am jaded. all this crap from one woman to another. nice.
who the fuck do these jerks think they are- making ignorant assumptions like that?
so much for sisterhood.
i wonder if men pull that shit on one another.
a guy can fuck his best friends wife, and the two remain friends after the divorce, but women will scratch another woman's eyeballs out for oogling her looser boyfriend.
fucking ridiculous. oops, i'm rambling.

the world is filled with good and bad people, and if it is exponentially overpopulated, doesn't that mean there will be more and more assholes roaming around as time goes by? why add to the chances of birthing the next criminal or narcissist by having 13 kids?
not all these parents can be farmers... who else needs that many kids?
q: how does the uterus not fall out after delivering 10 kids?
and who wants to screw after pushing a dozen babies through their vagina?
isn't that like throwing a hot dog down a hallway?
do kegels help with that?
gross.

i believe that choosing to NOT be a parent is an admirable choice. 

and not every parent should be one. 

most suck at least a little bit. some suck alot, and then those who are awful at parenting often have lots of kids. sick irony.
let's think about the incarcerated, shall we?

what would you estimate the percentage of violent inmates is who came from a good home? 

80%? 2%? 

maybe their folks should have used a rubber, no? 

how about the child molester, would his life be just as sentimental to you if you knew when he was a baby- what he'd turn out to be? 

i say let's just drop the plucking heart-string act for a minute and look around here.

having a kid is a crap shoot. 

you could get a good one, healthy, who turns out smarter than you are, who listens well and is respectful. you could also get a meanie, a real problem starter. or worse... one never knows, and counting fingers and toes tells very little.

be realistic.

again, no- god didn't bless these human rabbits with little angels.
barf.
mammals reproduce. amphibians reproduce. plants reproduce.
and while the making and growing process of offspring may be interesting and such, it's not a fucking miracle!!!
egg and sperm met. cells divided and grew. a fetus attached to the uterine wall. it grew into a miniature human.
not a miracle.
but what is a miracle is the fact that the fathers willingly watch their partner's bodies ripped apart as the baby is being born, and then they go back for more.
double gross.

some years ago, a woman i used to work with brought in pics that her husband [now ex-husband, thank you] took as she delivered her son. she wanted to show them to a pregnant co-worker. i was curious, since i never saw a human birth, only a calf being born- on tv.
let me tell you, the pics were icky. gave me the willies, and i love science. cadaver lab fascinated me.
but why would you want to proudly show that intimate view to your co-workers?
hey y'all, want to look at my hairy bloody ripped up love-slice?
what a mess.
pass.

i'm all for nature. don't get me wrong. reproduction is natural.
women have sex and want to get knocked up. fine. i get it.
i even kept my options open about entering motherhood off and on throughout my life, but always settle on no thanks.
still do.
no.
thanks.

i wish all mothers would use a midwife and all would breast feed their babies too.

we need good parents out there. there are too many duds.

so, if you are reading this, which you aren't- since nobody does, remain calm, and don't get all defensive if you are a parent- or want to be.

i don't hate you all. 
i do dislike and lack respect for the ignorant droves of mass producers of human life. no social or ecological consciences to be found in them. only blank stares and excuses.

i just urge people to stop the following:
1) breeding as opposed to parenting. have one or two max per couple. 
see: Zero Population Growth
2) calling babies miracles. grow up. you make me ill.
3) insisting that we all want to be parents, or someday we will. it's condescending and incorrect.
4) assuming we all don't like children. come on, it's not cut and dry like that. so stop assuming.