So what if I was a gnarly beotch yesterday?
Do you feel worse for wear because if it?
Didn't think so.
If you cannot throw a pity party for yourself what kind of hostess are you?
Answer: A shitty one.
No, I did not make these Hostess (TM) inspired treats,
but I am totally inspired to!
If you are a sub-par hostess, I don't want to come over to your house for a party anyway.
I will bring my Asian Noodle Delight to someone else's gig then.
Fact: that shit's delicious!!!!
I don't actually have the noodle dish to offer you tonight.
After all, I am still in my jammies, at 5:17 pm, the same jammies which are comprised of half of yesterday's work outfit.
I really don't care.
I really don't care.
I opted to NOT work today.
Took today off instead, to care for myself and chill with Lady Fletcher- wonder kitty.
Fletch, basking in the Love!
WARNING:
One of yesterday's perks was actual shit.
Don't leave my blob!
Let me explain...
I came in from work, after being Happy Valentine's Day'd to near-death and went into my room to change and relax with a feline infused snuggle.
BUT WAIT! What is that?!?!?
TURD!
I shit you not.
The pussy who goes by "Lady" Fletcher dropped dos deuces a foot away from my pillow.
Suspect turds looked much like these gems here.
Genius observation, Doctor!
Mr. Sandman, bring me a dream.
&
&
The power of Poop compels me!
I immediately fell into a fit of hysterics.
I imagined her trying to pass these diamond-like [in hardness not cash value] nuggets and her getting surprised so deeply by the lack of movement, that she jumped all willy-nilly until the crap literally flew out of her starfish.
I imagined her trying to pass these diamond-like [in hardness not cash value] nuggets and her getting surprised so deeply by the lack of movement, that she jumped all willy-nilly until the crap literally flew out of her starfish.
Not Like Cartman's Kitty here.
That's a bad kitty!
I have seen the shitty kitty dance before- just not so close to where I lay my head.
"Here Kitty Kitty" by Litterbox.
Two minutes you will never get back.
Reason #376 why you love me.
You are welcome!
I thanked her for the memories and the hearty laugh & went into the kitchen and made a VD sandwich- with cheese.
& that none of you have The Clap!
XOXOXOXOXoh,
Vi
P.S. I kind of started another little less-cunty blob.
Feel free read on or not.